Twisted

Twisted imagination about impossibilities,
weird combinations and unrelated characters,
chaos and jumbled time frames,
crowds and eeriness,
devils of the past,
keys to the future.

Nomad

I didn't run from war nor famine nor dictators. There was no immediate emergency. I didn't come to stay forever. I came to showcase my mind to the highest bidder. I left behind love and friends. In that sense, I am unlike other nomads. In another sense, I am a global nomad. I belong nowhere. But I belong everywhere. I collect impressions. I learn and move on. After reaching a point in life, it is not about the future. It is about what we leave behind.

A doll

Contour of a face,
tiny and innocent.
A creation so divine,
blissful and serene.

A look of wonder,
a dance on the arm,
slept like a doll,
in a world that swung.

A will to explore,
a mind too strong.

End

Millions of years of evolution taught otherwise. 

Being the only species which can commit it, 

is not special. 

Pulling the trigger with the machine pointed to brain,

 is the ultimate struggle. 

The command center has to give an order to destroy itself. 

It's a difference of a split second, 

between this side and the other. 

Hope of something better on the other side? 

Or the blind confidence that anything is better than this side? 

The finger is all set to pull the trigger. 

A solution that solves all problems. 

All problems imagined, 

a universe created from nothing.

Angel

She is an angel,
who was sent to guard me.
A dreamer who believed.
She walked along
and listened to my prophesies.
Without her, I will lose half of me.
Nobody has ever come closer than her.
I burnt in desire,
daring to cross the line,
which was sacred.
We met and became one before we realized.
And it was as long ago
as I can remember.
We were too small
but we knew.
We held hands in an old picture.
I was four
and she was three.
A little angel I lost,
who came back
not to leave me ever.
We have to talk no more.
We understood the language of eyes.
And the language of silence.
Nothing can be hidden from her.
Telepathy is not fiction.
She is a shadow.
Life is not kind to angels,
only if it touches them.
The spirit of love.
A love transcending human relations.
The strength of hope.
The grace of a goddess.
Divine is not enough a word.
The sins which will haunt.
She is my weakness
and my greatest strength.
She will go away one day.
There will be two people between us.
And we will remain what we are.
Don't call us lovers.
We are not.

Tahoe!

Snow chains and avalanches,
road closures and storm warnings,
Weather channel and winter clothes,
Zero visibility and iced roads.

The joy of first snow,
Snow men and butterflies,
Hot coffee in the snow fall,
White flakes of snow
On a black night,
Beautiful and precious.

Long hiatus

Long hiatus from my favorite pastime,
how do I say what all happened?
If time can move so fast,
I would ask why?
When time was slow,
I did ask why.

Multiple levels of happiness,
timely events to bring back reality.
Events which are not in control
of any power known.
Coincidences and accidents,
Emotions and love.

Where did the power to write go?
The power to express the most
complex and abstract,
in the most simple words.
It hides somewhere inside me,
waiting to wake up
and get going.

If past standards are a scale,
is present a prisoner of past?
Am I a prisoner of my previous posts?
Are they like arrows of time,
which can never come back.

Should future arrows be controlled
and thought about?
A whirlpool of our own standards.
Baseless abyss of our own power
to set standards
and then,
the struggle to beat them.

Bubbles

Bubbles float towards me,
moving with the breeze,
transient and fragile.
Transparent and void,
unpredictable
and unknown.
A tear in the eye,
a moment frozen in time,
forever alive.
A life with limits,
fatal sooner or later,
for higher ideals,
with infinite possibilities,
a beautiful bubble.

Live...

This earth is mine,
every part of it.
And it is yours too.
I don't belong anywhere
yet I belong everywhere.
The vastness has space
for you and me to live,
though you may not believe.
An imaginary line drawn
on a land which may move
with a jolt of a quake
or an eruption,
separates you from me.
The most random occurrence
in the world,
birth,
can it give the right to own?
The beauty of human life,
every thought,
every relationship,
every feeling,
a lifetime of moments,
can it end in a moment?
A mother knows the pain
of creating a life.
You know the joy
of ending it.

Adrenaline

Screeching noise
and warning signs,
acute curves
and narrow roads,
every turn was better
every sound was good.
Blaring music
and funny banter,
confidence in the machine
and the ability to maneuver,
steep slopes
and rock walls,
a brake too late,
speed too high.
A second close to death,
but a fence in the place
of the slope or the rock.
A lesson not to believe too much.

The One

Mystic of a name
Magic of a new start
Romance of a date
Love of a life time.

Slowness of time
Madness of distance
Overlap of thoughts
Layers of strength.

Depth of emotion
Lightness of life
Speed of events
Vastness of joy.

Eyes didn't lie.
Heart didn't cheat
Words didn't leave
but speechless I am.

A Child?

Backwards through reality
in the twisted sense
of time.
Flashes of brilliance
followed by awe
and sense of inevitable blankness.
Synchronized play of lights
in a bigger sequence
incomprehensible and illogical.
A sense of presence
in the events and people
and yet floating around
in a different dimension
away from all.
A dance on tiny feet,
random and innocent,
shy and untalented,
copied and wrong.
White light,
broken solutions,
a hint and they are gone.

Stepping up to you.

I was special, a lucky omen.
My birth coincided with your rise.
I grew with the all the love.
Straight were your deeds and words.
An honesty and integrity
never equaled.
You taught me not to lie,
not to be afraid
when there is nothing to hide.
The honor of life.
The unwritten code.

With the power of words
and the power of the past,
you rose.
Hard work and confidence.
A born salesman.
Too many people believed you.
Luxury and carelessness came in.
Values and honesty went out.

Fall from the pedestal was hard.
All of us went down with you.
The right and the wrong,
Not through your words
but your life.
Spectacularly close to success,
but excruciatingly far.
Your ways didn't change.
The hypocrisy was too much
for me to ignore.

Living a king's life
when you had nothing
that you own.
Majesty which comes from the stride,
not the money.

Always young and open
to learn new life.
A wonderful, restless, beautiful, contrived,
intelligent and clever mind that you had
which you wasted on a life
that could have been bigger and better.
And who am I to judge?

Can I ever step into those big shoes,
see the things you saw
and do the things you did
and still not give up on the face
of an epic failure?
Regardless of what becomes of me,
a lesson was there to be learned.
My life would be an answer to yours.
And mine would be a question
which would be judged and answered by time.

Heroes!

I had very few heroes in my life. The common factor has been the ability of these heroes to be the best in their chosen profession or path. Except for my Dad, I never cared about what these heroes were outside their chosen field. I never cared about their personal lives. I never tried to meet any of my heroes. I never proclaimed that I am a fan. It is just a silent acknowledgment of their greatness and my own way of exhibiting my admiration by trying to be the best in my chosen field or anything else I do in my every day life.

Dad: My first hero was my Dad. He deserves a separate post. My life has seen so much of him. I would take years to understand the effect of my observations about his life. I wouldn't say he is the best Dad in the world. But I would say that he led his life on his own terms. With another toss of a coin and a bit of luck on his side, he would have reached the peak. But the abyss and the peak are right next to each other and can only be understood by the people who try to climb and fall. Salute!

Mom: If family is a profession, my mom excelled in it. Her sacrifices are infinite. She went to any extent to keep her children away from all the trouble. She valiantly took all the pain and gave us comfort. She didn't care about her health and life in the process. Such is the dedication she showed towards her chosen path. Salute!

Sachin Tendulkar: Outside of the cricket stadium, he may not be my hero. But once he steps into his cricketing shoes, I worship him. At that level of expertise about cricket and the skill to execute every shot in the book to perfection, he ranks on the top of my list of heroes. Aamir Khan mentioned in his blog about his experience of watching 20-20 final with Sachin. He has stated that Sachin could predict every ball bowled. He could exactly say what it would be: shorter one, slower ball, yorker, googly, doosra, good length, over pitched etc. My heroes are not rated on any other characteristic other than their expertise in their field and their ability to be always the best. Salute!

A.R.Rahman: In a rare interview given by him after his National award winning film, Roja, he said "Music should be deep. If it is a dance number, it should make you move. If it is a soft song, it should make you cry. And it should be different every time". And this man has delivered. And he continues to do it. Every song is different and deep. Salute!

Stephen Hawking: I couldn't think of words to describe my feeling for this person. With his body, I wouldn't have survived for a few hours. And here he is, struggling with the basics of life and yet scaling new heights in quantum physics. "God plays dice and throws it in a place where we cannot see." - Stephen Hawking ended his book, A brief history of time, with those famous lines. Truly, Stephen Hawking is a special throw of dice. Salute!

Steve Jobs: Outside of electronics, he may be an arrogant dude. But when it comes to design and marketing of cool electronic gadgets, he has no parallel. This man is a fighter. He rose from the ashes to reclaim Apple and take it to the top again. He rose from his own health issues and gave us iPhone which redefines everything that is assumed about a phone. He is a maverick. He is a genius. He is the best in his field. Salute!

Unnamed faces: There are fields which are not visible to the world. But there are so many people who dedicate their lives for a chosen path and be the best in them. They go unnoticed. They live for their own happiness. And in the process, they create better lives for many others. Salute!

Aunt: She is deaf. Her husband abuses her. He doesn't work. She struggled in all odd jobs to keep her family of three children afloat. She is dedicated to her family more than my Mom. She is an example for how not to lose heart in trying circumstances and how not to give up. Salute!

This list will continue to grow. Also I want to be on my own list of heroes. That would make my life.

Happiness

Every moment can be cherished.
It doesn't matter who you are.
Nor does it where you are.
It doesn't matter with whom.
No matter what you are doing,
happiness is not a destination.

Its time!

The dull regret of reality
and the boredom of truth.
Where are all the dreams?
Where is the joy
and fascination of the vivid
imagination of hundred years ahead.
Where did science fiction
and Isaac Asimov go?

Why don't I think
about stars anymore?
Did Pluto actually lose
its planet status?
Was that the latest
news about space?
How about the quantum mechanics
and pulsars?

The little universe
where I used to travel
faster than light has disappeared.
Mundane tasks and fleeting moments
of joy have taken its place.
Where did the enormous appetite for books go?

Reality is interesting
in its own way.
It proves my relevance.
When death comes,
it doesn't matter
how many ideas I had.
What matters is how many
I have implemented.

Here, there and everywhere!

We passed by a long time back,
without knowing what each other meant.
Later we passed by, again.
This time you evoked a sense of familiarity.
Later, we met.
We greeted each other.
We were uncertain about each other.
Then, we started knowing more.
I started seeing you in more places, I visit.
I was comfortable with you, then.
Later, we became closer.
You started getting into my life.
I started referring to you in conversations.
You became a part of my life.
Then, later, I passed by another again.
And the whole cycle continued.
Infinite were the variations.
Unlimited were the options.
I was amazed to find how you fit
into complex situations.
And how you provide solace
to the suffering souls.
And how you inspire and motivate.
Your power could break a heart
in a second,
or make that heart to remember
you forever.
I found the magic of you.
Words are friends
and you were one.

And next time, think before talking!

Aroma of the basmati,
lightness of the banter,
eagerness to fit in,
a blank moment,
an innocent comment,
all round laughter
and a warm adieu
to the wonderful evening.

An instant before the comment,
a small thought about it,
too close she was,
I thought,
to mind me,
too much did she know,
to doubt me.

Another evening,
another week,
a normal call
with a sad message.
The comment was too personal,
may be because of too much
closeness.

Some time away
to think about it.
Too close we were
to ever express
the real depth.
Beauty is in not saying it aloud
that you are special
and this friendship is sacred.

And it was just a stupid joke
gone all wrong.

To play to win

To stand in the path
of certain defeat,
and to think
about play and life
and decide that
to play to win
is real play
and all other play
is not play.

To play the best
and to never give up
in the face of defeat
and to pull off a victory
when world says
that it is impossible.

Whoever said play is just play,
winning or losing doesn't matter,
has lost before play.

To win
and applaud the rival
for his effort,
to lose
and know that
one never gave up
till the end.

To get up
the next day
and get ready for
another fight.

To keep winning
in the purest sense
of the word,
is never giving up.

And it's 7:00 AM again!!

Time never gives up.
Every day is a battle
to keep it still.
Relentless is it's pursuit.

It is contradictory.
More it is
when we do less.
Less it is
when we do more.

It keeps taking it's toll.
When we look back,
it seems that it has been too soon.
And when we look forward,
it seems a long way.
When we look at it,
it stays still.
When we look away,
it runs ahead.

It has moments which
come at us at a blinding speed
to make us notice and admire
its sheer power,
while it has some
which refuse to get over.

When we wake up to realize
that it is another day,
we know that there weren't
many where we made our way.

Yet that special day is always
on the horizon,
waiting to happen
and change our life
in such a wonderful way.

And that special day gets over
and another one shows up
in this journey
to the destination
to which we will never lose our way.

Are you free?

Freedom from the past,
Known stereotypes,
First impressions,
Old memories,
Regrets and close chances,
New notions,
Blind beliefs,
Fear of the new,
Uneasiness of hate,
Rationalizing the indulgences,
Misplaced sense of importance,
Heaviness of ego,
Irrational logic,
Outward sweetness,
Unnecessary pride,
Baseless feeling of ownership,
True freedom is not outside.

Do you hear it?

It drowns the thought
into the depths of sweetness,
lifts the spirits to the infinite,
brings back flashes of events,
lifts nature to the conscious,
defies definitions and genres,
keeps the tradition and the modern alive,
arrives with the season,
frees the occasions of ennui,
takes the mind on a journey,
commits strangers on a common mission,
keeps a part of brain to itself,
makes the pulse rise high
to the beats which race through the nerves.
A common language of hearts
like the universal smile,
a dance of sound and silence,
rhythm and melody,
pitch and harmony,
love and hate,
and a myriad other feelings
and events,
Music takes humans beyond known horizons.

That's why

Words last forever.
Life after death.
Strangers connect.
Inspire and learn.
Happiness in comments.
Love of limelight.
To have an opinion
and a place of mine.
Long periods of silence.
Sudden spurts of energy.
Unknown readers.
Known critics.
Blank mind.
Depth of emotion.
The secrecy of pen names.
No faces.
Why do I write?
I write for me
and you.
Sometimes I don't
and I don't know why.

Nirvana

Disjoint levels of thought,
multiple vantage points,
variety of conclusions,
all sound and true.
Many directions to follow,
starkly different destinations,
right and wrong interlace
and fade away.
A bird's eye view
and a microscopic one,
the devil in the details
and the one in the overview,
worries of the minuscule
and the fear of choices.
Everyday life,
ultimate ambition,
hunger for food
and hunger for knowledge,
Middle lines
and mediocrity.

They don't

Staring back with all honesty,
being as real as life and death,
breaking all resolve,
inspiring a raw smile,
or a quick dance,
or a miniature facial circus,
being someone we avoid with all might
just to get back every day and night,
making us realize our true nature
and the inability to change it,
reminding the smallest of flaws,
judging every move,
killing all fear to live
and all courage to die,
Mirrors - both material and human,
don't lie.

Office Politics

Plastic smiles galore,
back stabbing at close range,
Seething anger within,
Sweet words outside,
pleasure to watch hypocrisy and histrionics,
side by side.

Joke or Joker?

Back when I was a kid,
You were too big to imagine.
Made long trips
to be in your presence.
It always felt weird.
Something absurd.
You were supposed to be everywhere
watching everything.
Yet when we wanted to meet you,
we had to queue up.
You were above and beyond
all doubt.
Blind faith.
You were beyond all knowledge.
Reason stood no chance
to understand your infinite power.
Questions were hushed up.
Answers were rare.
People kill each other in your name.
But what can we say,
you are omniscient.
Foolishness has limits.
But when it is you,
there can be none.
Little did I know,
we created you,
the best variable ever,
a joker card which can fit
in every gap science cannot fill,
a drug more addictive than any other,
billions have been hallucinating,
for thousands of years,
millions have died in your name,
millions will,
while you remain invisible
without any proof.
I cannot blame you
Because you don't exist.
When Man wanted to hide his ignorance
he named it God.

To fight is THE choice

A tribute to you,
the past me,
for fighting it out.
It was cold and wet,
Men were wicked,
Pockets were empty,
it was a long walk uphill,
from the edges of poverty,
to a respectful life.
All along in perfect knowledge
that it's just a stage
and its all an illusion.
But if that's the way
the game is played,
well that's how
you will play it.
It was pretty dark back then,
insults were heaped generously.
All you had was the dream
to make it to the top
and you did.
All you needed to fight
was you and you alone.
There were times
when a passer-by stood
and gave a glance
at your struggle.
May be he took a lesson
or two from you.
The strength came from with-in,
from outside
when you saw determination
to fight it out.
To fight is a choice,
a chance you took,
when there was nothing to lose.
To fight is the choice,
in absence of any chance to win.
To fight is noble,
when the other option
is to bow like a weed.
It was a hurricane
which you survived.
To see what you have seen
To think what you have lived
is to go through all hell on earth.
You did not take it upon fate,
nor on God,
You did not ask help,
You fought it,
with all that you had,
though it was nothing.
You believed that the darkest tests
you had
were the best lessons.

Melt in a second

Long after you are gone,
the smile lingers on.
A strange sense of blankness.
Light too bright to see.
Madness is not distant.
Uncontrollable smirk.
Mind can be the alternate universe
with its own big bangs
and black holes.
Gravity and causality disappear.
It was not you,
it was me.
You were a random occurrence
when I was looking for a coincidence.
Consequences and causes are mine.
In the infinite wisdom of chaos
a flake of snow floated
on to my outstretched hand
to melt in a second.

Moments

Today when I walk alone,
I remember how
it felt invincible
to know no fear.
Nothing could stop me.
It still cannot.
Everything which felt close,
exciting and fun,
is transient.
Always in the moment
but not totally,
held back by fear of losing it.
I will lose it anyway.
Excited to meet new moments,
looking back at old ones
cherishing them,
like they were those drops of rain,
before they hit the ground.

Power to fly

Wind can blow you away.
It can lift you up,
carry you over the ocean,
to a distant land of dreams.

Hands stretched wide,
facing the current,
with the wide ocean in front of you,
all tending to infinity,
lightness of being can be felt.

Evolution has been partial to mankind.
Wings are no bird's property.
I can trade my power to reason,
if I can get the power to fly.

Mt Shasta

Rising above the clouds,
like an emperor too tall to bow,
stood a lone giant.
Greener than the darkest green,
that man has ever seen,
are the meadows.
A minute of silence beside the stream,
the source of which is just ahead,
are the moments which make life.
Like a huge river taking birth,
oozing out was water pure and sweet,
from the depths of mother earth.
An hour can be spent in the lake below,
watching the emperor in his glory.
Snow on the peaks,
gives the perfect veil,
for all the rumbling inside.
A kayak in a far off lake,
The water waves stoking softly,
A tired soul dozed off into heaven,
Watching the majesty rise so high.

Mt Shasta

Bonds

Hanging on a thin silk thread of web,
from a tree outside the window,
is a tiny leaf.
Wind doesn't differentiate.
The leaf hung on
not knowing whether to fall gracefully to certain death,
or to wait few more days.

Reflections

There were the best moments.
And there were the worst.
Some dreams were denied.
Better ones were granted.
Some regrets remain.
Connecting the dots backwards,
they all line-up.
New questions have come up.
Old ones have been answered.
Best gifts are not physical anymore.
A word of comfort
more than made up for the day.
Revelations help the ego.
Once the "whys" are answered,
all that is left is awe.
Meandering it may seem,
uphill it may be,
next step may take eons,
summit is beautiful.
At the crossroads
I stand.
There are infinite ways to live.
The one I love
is the most elusive.

Jasmine

Jasmines are generally white.
She was not.
Multiple hues but no trace of white.
A beautiful girl who lived next door.
Intelligence filled her face.
A delight to watch.
One day, she laughed.
She laughed uncontrollably.
There was no joke.
But she continued.
May be she laughed because she saw,
with crystal clarity,
the absurdity of life.
It is funny sometimes.
But the ones who realize it,
are usually kept in asylums.
And all the confused ones,
get confined in their own minds,
in the free world outside.
She had just fallen over the edge.
She was just sixteen.
Yet she had reached the end of her life.
Who pushed her?
Her adopted parents?
Her true ones?
Her own mind?
Or the ghost?
Like my Mom innocently believes.
What happened to Jasmine?
Where did she go?
Another forgotten bright soul,
which couldn't bear its own lightness.
When she moved on to the brighter consciousness,
I was sitting nearby,
a ten year old,
believing that she will come back to be normal
and play chess with me.

The feel of the place

A journey started nowhere
to a destination unknown.
It ended in a place undiscovered.
It led to a path through the thick woods.
Sun was blocked,
may be by the clouds,
may be by the leaves.
Little drops of rain
cascaded through the branches.
Clouds they were, then.
Sound of water in the streams,
Hypnosis in disguise.
The smell of wet earth again.
Too many memories rush by.
A friend to walk along.
Intersecting paths.
The fear of getting lost,
And the joy of adventure.
The relief to come back
to the intersection where we lost.
The identity of familiarity.
The joy of the known
and the excitement of the unknown.
Driving on the edge,
daring to fall,
but hanging on.
The feel of the place
that is all that remains.

"B"log!

My life is a play of light.
So is my blog.
Shadows in the corner.
Shadows on the window.
The mesh of lines revealing
the sky in different hues.
Intimidating extent of effects.
The blur of the lines on the left
as if they are not sure
which way.
The unknown on the right
behind the walls.
Thoughts flowing in a limited space.
Left over impressions
in their own space.
If it is you today,
yesterday was somebody.
Expanding envelopes of waves
emerging from an unseen center.
All lines seeming straight
but none in reality.
Shapes belong to no names.
What you see now
is what I am today.
But with a little effort
we can see the past.
And we will never know what next.

Boundaries

Where do I end?
And where do you start?
Do I end at my fingers?
Do you start at yours?
Or do I end deep inside you?
And do you start at my heart?
Boundaries overlap to form a haze,
it clears up for just enough
for me to see through.
Then again,
it is a big universe of chaos.
Where does all the clutter come from?
I did not bring it in.
But yes,
I did not throw it out too.
Whenever it gets cleared,
I see a new world.
Fresh and virgin,
to be loved and loved back.

The Seven Tag

Continuing Nas's tag here.

It is on the to-do list for so long that I wanted to take it up as a challenge! “Can’t dos” were easy while “can dos” were mighty tough.

Seven things I plan (dream) to do before I die

1. Start and own a company or companies. To be an entrepreneur is my biggest dream.
2. Receive Nobel Prize (Lofty:D)
3. Climb Mt. Everest (he he… this is becoming ridiculous!)
4. Run a full marathon (Exhausting, huh?)
5. Make a difference (big) in a lot of lives.
6. Experience intense, passionate and deeply emotional love.
7. Travel in space. If human settlement becomes a reality in Mars, I hope I have enough money or luck to be among first few settlers.

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Seven things I can do

1. Act as though I am very caring and friendly :)
2. Change and adapt like a chameleon.
3. Forget
4. Psycho analyze
5. Super multi-task without completing anything.
6. Exaggerate

7. Roam around without direction

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Seven things I can't do

1. Be disciplined.
2. Follow routine
3. Remember routes
4. Make friends in the first meeting.
5. Be organized
6. Implement the plans
7. Forgive

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Seven things I say the most

1. Yeah
2. ok

3. Hmmm
4. I
5. You
6. Later
7. Not sure

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Seven things I say the most on my blog

1. Love
2. Me, I etc
3. Here I go
4. God
5. Destiny
6. Why
7. End

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Seven things that attract me to the opposite

1. Childlike
2. Style and Character
3. Eyes, Lips and other physical aspects. :D
4. Unpredictability
5. Intelligence
6. Sense of humor
7. Secretiveness

******************************************
Seven celebrity crushes

1. Katrina Kaif
2. Kate Winslet
3. Shriya Saran
4. Genelia D'Souza
5. Natalie Portman
6. Jodie Foster
7. Jennifer Aniston

******************************************

Wow!

Illusion

Every time you walk away,
a wave of finality descends.
There are things untold.
If I had known,
I would have told the truth.
I am hiding the obvious.
You are refusing to see it.
Denial is what we both do.
You deny that it is there.
I deny that it is not.
We are dreamers,
caught in a real world.
We mock all those
who want to balance life.
We give more than what we can
and then some more.
Practicality has no meaning
in our grand scheme.
I know you more than you do.
And I love you more than myself.
You may not realize it today.
I get caught in your eyes
and see a layer of gloss.
I forget that it is shallow.
And when the gloss
tries to behold me,
I slip away.
It could be an illusion.
An elaborate plot
which has gone according to the plan.
If destiny can be changed,
I will try.
But if the play was already written,
I will play my role.

Stupid, I am.

That I want from you,
you don't know.
That I give you,
you don't want.
Destination.
Is that all I want?
Journey.
That’s all I want.
Discomfort.
That I won’t cause.
Fade.
I will, into time.
Silent.
It will be.
Difference.
You won’t realize.
Everything.
I have.
Happy.
I should be.
You.
I don’t have.
Hurt.
Should I be?

PS: Comment. You have to. It sucks. That’s true. Write it. I will feel better. :)

For you I should

Forever I can.
For you I should.
In this eternal silence,
longing for you.
In the game,
guessing your next move.
In the love,
waiting for one moment.
Digging up and burying
those memories
you gave
and those
you took away.
Breaking up and moving closer.
Breaking down and denying it.
Being right next to you
and feeling far away.
Saying all that
you want to hear
and hiding all that
I want to say.
I can.
For you I would.
Will I?

Pseudo

Guilt chases me
for empty promises I made
beautiful castles I built
sweet words I whispered
happy dreams I wove
moral values I held
tall virtues I symbolized
false compliments I showered
borrowed advice I delivered
divine hope I beckoned
heavenly future I promised
and because you believed.

Subtle endings

Like horizons of never ending oceans,
fuzzy tails of comets,
multiple reflections on a dark window,
flowing robes of an angel,
irregular edges of a cloud,
unreachable mirage in a desert,
first rays of sun at dawn,
soft whispers on a summer night,
some things should not end.
Yet they have to.
In the most subtle way ever.

The fire of desire.

Reason,
Self-esteem,
Purpose.
Lost all of them,
in a dream.
Up into the clouds,
it lifts me.
Then abruptly,
drops me.
Is getting hurt,
a pastime?
A sin,
committed by whom?
Optimism and hope,
are they sins?
Am I a sinner?
Yes, I am.
The fire of desire
will burn forever.
Engulfing me,
the sinner.

Reality is a mirage!

On the altar of love,
obsession is the other name.
Nothing is an alternative.
Choice is an irony.
Today's joy
or tomorrow's sorrow?
An idealist back
after a trip to the perfect world.
Secrets beneath layers of courtesies.
Tragedy of coincidences.
Which is the truth?
Object or the projection?
Subject or the image?
Lost in the waves of consciousness,
reality is a mirage.

PS : Another one!! Ur destiny!

We live!

We live
behind a facade.
Too shy
to share our dreams.
Too independent
to ask for help.
We live
in a borrowed reality,
on a broken rainbow.
Too proud
to confess our loneliness.
Too eager
to give.
Too uncomfortable
to take back.
We live
balancing the life's equations.
Too ignorant
to know
that they can never be.
We live
seeing our life
through borrowed eyes.
Too short-sighted
to see it
through our own.
We live
deriving happiness.
Too enlightened
to know it.
We live.

PS : I know my writings kind of suck! But cannot resist the urge to call them as poems. . :D

Indexed :D

Everywhere

A brief glance at the code
A flash of thought
Passwords were not mine

Time was no longer real
Past was better

Little words meant nothing

You are here
In the frames
In the faces
I cannot delete you

Everytime I login
You are there

Memories of you
In my phone
In my email
In my passwords
In my neurons.

Happiness is redefined
Joy has new limits

Three

Absent mindedness is my friend. He will never leave me. But will never help me in need. I make innovative plans to avoid this unwelcome friend.

One of those plans is using the power of three. When I am outside, I make sure that I have only 3 things with me. At any time, I can count to 3 and check if I have the 3 items.

For example, I have a wallet, a phone and a set of keys with me on all days. That neatly fits into my plan "three".

Sometimes, during office hours, it may be 4 including my ID card. But since the harmless ID card is hanging off me from somewhere, I need not worry about it too much.

But, at any single instant of time, when my hands go over my pockets, I just count 3 and don’t check for the 3 items individually. So if at any point, I have only 2 items with me, I know for sure that I have misplaced one. But I will not know which one. I have to whack my brain to think what the 3 items were and which one of them is missing.

A bigger problem is while driving. The keys are safely in the ignition and my hands follow the plan sincerely and go over the pockets and instantly generate an interrupt. One of the things is missing.

My brain services the interrupt after a brief pause (vacuum). It clears the interrupt deciding that the keys are missing and they are in the ignition and will be back safely into my pocket.