Fascinating journey through my mind

Footboard Surfing

2011-08-09T16:28:00.001-07:00

(Old post on a different blog, but I love this one)

The total number of medals that India has won so far in summer Olympics is almost as high as the number of teeth a newly born baby has. And the number of participants in winter Olympics from India is almost as high as the number of teeth an unborn baby has. Many people are of the opinion that the major reasons are the lack of basic infrastructure and the lack of attractiveness of sports as a career option in India.
But I think the real reason is that Olympics do not seem to have the sports in which Indians excel. I think it is a major conspiracy against India by the Olympics organizing committee. I don’t think it is not a good idea to keep one billion people away from Olympics. The committee has to take into its view that Indians along with Chinese can start their own parallel Olympics. And I think there is no need to mention that Chinese will be all for it because of the sheer the number of medals they can win. Indians are very popular as people who do not do anything till it is absolutely necessary and in many instances; it means that their life should depend on it. I here by recommend, in my capacity as a responsible citizen of India, footboard surfing to be included into Olympics.

This is a very popular sport in almost all metro cities of India. Every bus in India has a foot board. And every foot board has a railing attached. The initial purpose of these two was to allow passengers to get into the buses and get out of the buses when the bus is stationary. But the sport loving citizens of India had other ideas. And those ideas gave birth to an exciting new sport. Footboard surfing involves a lot of athletic skill with considerable strength in the forearms. The sport involves running along an over crowded bus till it picks up speed. The athlete has to make sure that the relative velocity between him and the bus is zero. Once that is achieved, he has to somehow catch hold of the railing along the forward side of the foot board with his right hand. And because all buses in India have their foot boards on the left side, it puts the left-handed among the athletes in a slight disadvantage. But I request them not to lose heart. Left-handed athletes can try the same sport on the driver door which is mostly on the right side. After the athlete has caught hold of the railing, it is essential to haul his right leg to whatever space available on the last step of the foot board. Please keep in mind that his leg will be one of the 15 legs on a foot board of width half a foot and a length of 1.5 feet. The real adventure can be felt if you have your college bag hanging precariously from your left shoulder. And add to that the necessity of buying a ticket with your spare hand. A much needed gush of wind on your face gives a refreshing feeling. The driver has the right to go as close as possible to the other vehicles on the road. The athletes need to get off and on the footboard at every stop. The athletes need to be well versed in advanced kinetic theories of physics. The athletes need to follow a somewhat similar process to get off the bus. The athlete needs to make sure that his right leg is firmly implanted on the road and should continue running along the bus till he can safely take off his grip from the railing. Once that is done, the athlete has to safely lower down his velocity to zero. Another variation of this sport is being practiced by the sport lovers who travel by trains. The electric posts are constructed as close as possible to the the track to add that extra kick. Footboard travel is considered to be fashionable in some college circles and girls have been noticed to be falling in hordes for the best footboard traveling male. At present, the boys are observed to be practicing this sport more enthusiastically that girls. More participation from girls will help in introducing more subtle variations to this sport. The athletes are requested to abstain from responding to any well-intentioned comments from co-travelers with expletives. Getting off and on at traffic signals can be an added maneuver. Athletes are warned that this sport is dangerous and fatal if practiced without proper practice and parental guidance. The Delhi Transport Corporation recently celebrated its fifty years of footboard travel.

Tahoe!

2011-04-18T15:29:00.000-07:00

Snow chains and avalanches,
road closures and storm warnings,
Weather channel and winter clothes,
Zero visibility and iced roads.

The joy of first snow,
Snow men and butterflies,
Hot coffee in the snow fall,
White flakes of snow
On a black night,
Beautiful and precious.

Long hiatus

2009-11-15T13:34:00.000-08:00

Long hiatus from my favorite pastime,
how do I say what all happened?
If time can move so fast,
I would ask why?
When time was slow,
I did ask why.

Multiple levels of happiness,
timely events to bring back reality.
Events which are not in control
of any power known.
Coincidences and accidents,
Emotions and love.

Where did the power to write go?
The power to express the most
complex and abstract,
in the most simple words.
It hides somewhere inside me,
waiting to wake up
and get going.

If past standards are a scale,
is present a prisoner of past?
Am I a prisoner of my previous posts?
Are they like arrows of time,
which can never come back.

Should future arrows be controlled
and thought about?
A whirlpool of our own standards.
Baseless abyss of our own power
to set standards
and then,
the struggle to beat them.

Bubbles

2009-07-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

Bubbles float towards me,
moving with the breeze,
transient and fragile.
Transparent and void,
unpredictable
and unknown.
A tear in the eye,
a moment frozen in time,
forever alive.
A life with limits,
fatal sooner or later,
for higher ideals,
with infinite possibilities,
a beautiful bubble.

Live...

2008-12-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

This earth is mine,
every part of it.
And it is yours too.
I don't belong anywhere
yet I belong everywhere.
The vastness has space
for you and me to live,
though you may not believe.
An imaginary line drawn
on a land which may move
with a jolt of a quake
or an eruption,
separates you from me.
The most random occurrence
in the world,
birth,
can it give the right to own?
The beauty of human life,
every thought,
every relationship,
every feeling,
a lifetime of moments,
can it end in a moment?
A mother knows the pain
of creating a life.
You know the joy
of ending it.

Adrenaline

2008-12-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

Screeching noise
and warning signs,
acute curves
and narrow roads,
every turn was better
every sound was good.
Blaring music
and funny banter,
confidence in the machine
and the ability to maneuver,
steep slopes
and rock walls,
a brake too late,
speed too high.
A second close to death,
but a fence in the place
of the slope or the rock.
A lesson not to believe too much.

The One

2008-11-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

Mystic of a name
Magic of a new start
Romance of a date
Love of a life time.

Slowness of time
Madness of distance
Overlap of thoughts
Layers of strength.

Depth of emotion
Lightness of life
Speed of events
Vastness of joy.

Eyes didn't lie.
Heart didn't cheat
Words didn't leave
but speechless I am.

A Child?

2008-10-21T04:17:00.000-07:00

Backwards through reality
in the twisted sense
of time.
Flashes of brilliance
followed by awe
and sense of inevitable blankness.
Synchronized play of lights
in a bigger sequence
incomprehensible and illogical.
A sense of presence
in the events and people
and yet floating around
in a different dimension
away from all.
A dance on tiny feet,
random and innocent,
shy and untalented,
copied and wrong.
White light,
broken solutions,
a hint and they are gone.

Stepping up to you.

2008-09-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

I was special, a lucky omen.
My birth coincided with your rise.
I grew with the all the love.
Straight were your deeds and words.
An honesty and integrity
never equaled.
You taught me not to lie,
not to be afraid
when there is nothing to hide.
The honor of life.
The unwritten code.

With the power of words
and the power of the past,
you rose.
Hard work and confidence.
A born salesman.
Too many people believed you.
Luxury and carelessness came in.
Values and honesty went out.

Fall from the pedestal was hard.
All of us went down with you.
The right and the wrong,
Not through your words
but your life.
Spectacularly close to success,
but excruciatingly far.
Your ways didn't change.
The hypocrisy was too much
for me to ignore.

Living a king's life
when you had nothing
that you own.
Majesty which comes from the stride,
not the money.

Always young and open
to learn new life.
A wonderful, restless, beautiful, contrived,
intelligent and clever mind that you had
which you wasted on a life
that could have been bigger and better.
And who am I to judge?

Can I ever step into those big shoes,
see the things you saw
and do the things you did
and still not give up on the face
of an epic failure?
Regardless of what becomes of me,
a lesson was there to be learned.
My life would be an answer to yours.
And mine would be a question
which would be judged and answered by time.

Sense please!

2008-09-03T13:28:00.001-07:00

(I had written this a while back and thought it was not worth posting. Now, I do.)

This blog never featured a political comment. It did not feature any expression of anguish at the poor and incompetent management of this world by the so-called people of power. It never featured a passing remark on any social issue afflicting human kind. It did not supply any information about anything other than my mind and its variations.

I wanted to keep the blog away from everything illogical and that pretty much encompasses everything going on this world. However I have seen that when the people of logic retreat realizing the futility of their attempts to lend a voice of reason in this mad world, more fools start shouting at the top of their voices and eventually it becomes “public opinion”.

Even that didn’t wake me up from my slumber till these fools wanted to fight rationalists in their own alley by using logic to explain their stupid beliefs. To be particular, the interview with Mr. Praveen Togadia spurred me to start writing this post.

The interview is here

To quote his logic: “According to rationalists, anything that cannot be proven does not exist. Therefore, since God’s existence has not been proven, he too does not exist. I want to ask them: Has it been proven that God does not exist? So, why are you so eager to believe that God does not exist?“

That was one of the most intelligent, yet the most stupid argument to prove God ever used by any pseudo-politician in the history of DIP (Dirty Indian Politics). It made me think a minute. May be he had a point there. God is not proven, so I cannot believe that God doesn’t exist. Well, it can be almost equated to the circular belief: “God wrote Bible. Bible says God exists. Therefore, God exists.”Assuming Togadia had a point there, applying his logic, I should believe in UFOs, thetans, zombies, lack of homosexuals in Iran and WMDs in Iraq. They all haven’t been proven to exist, but most importantly, according to Togadia, they haven’t been proven not to exist too. That’s pure logic :)

Answer to Togadia’s above question about why I am eager to believe that God does not exist is because I believe in logic and facts. I don’t live in some illusory world where I will believe in everything unless its proven that they don’t exist. For example, in such a world, I would believe that Togadia is not a fool.

Does Togadia want Scientists to stop valuable research to prove that all the things, which don’t exist, don’t exist?

I think it is better Togadia stops preaching God and tries to argue on the basis of the innumerable scientific and natural reasons which are against demolishing Ram Sethu.

Richard Dawkins is right. No more can we rationalists sit back and think God/religion is a good placebo which helps in giving illusory happiness to millions of people. It doesn’t. The number of people who are killed in the name of God/faith/religion is raising exponentially. What else can motivate a f******* d**** head to kill himself and 3000 other people by driving a plane into buildings in search of eternal life after death?

Evolution of writing!

2008-09-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I ego-googled and found that I had a blog long time back. I think it was my first blog and the posts were very childish. I have quoted them here verbatim.

"
First Night
HI pppl,
am back to haunt u :)

missed to tell u abt a movie which i saw on sat.. Scary movie 3...It was a spoof ... too good :D

its 1030 pm now... am still in office... not knowing what to do... I have to be in office all night...this is my firstnight :) at office...

i have to wait for the onsite guy... shud have a talk with him abt some issues... he will take a bit more time to reach office..till then I thought i will irritate u ..

went to forum yesterday..the mall was overflowing with ppl...we thought that bangalore is going US way... work like dogs for 5 days and enjoy like hell over the weekend...everything was crowded... the food courts, the dress shops even the book shops tooo... already having second thts about marriage and children... just couldnot imagine life after 10 years... it is going to be overcrowded all over earth and as a sportive father and a loving husband, its just horrifying to imagine the scene of me struggling to park my car in those multi floor parkings, standing in a queue as long as merina beach for a packet of pop corn and all the time saving myself and children and my sweetheart from the mob...

went on a shopping spree today evening..got nike shoes and levis jeans.. all billed to Nitins credit card... thats where friends, particularly ones with credit cards, are so useful... already feeling sleepy... theres a bunker (dorm) whatever we call it...here in office...i will better go have a nap before our God ( customer is god) gives a darshan..

Oh My God!!!

What am I doing in office on a Sunday Evening????

To be brutally honest, came just like that and I have a feeling that may be I got hooked to the net.. Miss it a lot at home....

Yesterday, we watched Harry Potter and prisoner of Azkaban... Great movie..the story picked up momentum as it progressed and made a grand ending with Hermoine moving time back by 3 hours.. Somehow felt that as if the we ourselves got back 3 hours in the movie because the movie moved so fast after that.

Prisoner of Azkaban was the first novel I read among Harry Potter novels and was mesmerised to see what I imagined while reading the book to be brought in front of me on the screen. Harry Potter becomes much more mature in this novel and he is now a matured wizard. His way of dealing of dementors, the creatures which will suck all happy memories in u and leave u with all the dark memories your life, is excellent.

After our 3 hour date with the Potter ( Harry Puthar as said in Kal ho na ho) we went to Nitin's (my colleaugue) house in the evening. Hospitality had a new nomenclature yesterday: "Nitin". he was such a perfect host. he cooked us the best meal we had in bangalore, made tea and since we stayed over night he made us breakfast too. Nobody can make a better host. Already thinking of spending my weekends at his home from now on.

One more reason y I would like to spend my weekends there will be the dvd player he has. Yesterday was a movie day. after going back from harry Puthar we caught up with Saif and Rani in "hum tum".. a nice flick about guys, girls and their diffrences and relationship... Some of the lines are too good.

Then went on to watch some more stuff ( :) ) after which continued with mainline cinema like "Basic Instinct".. although this movie created waves when it was relaesed.. I saw it yesterday only.. A gripping story.. A novelist (a psychlogist too) enacting her stories in real life.. excellent film and the ending is left open for the viewer to imagine for himself.. I like such films which kindle the viewer to think rather than being a passive watcher.. Matrix was another such film also Unbreakable was also such a film

came home today and after some freshening up and after having lunch at a chinese restaurant.. I am at office. we r yet to decide where to go in the evening.. heard that girls in MG road are missing me since I have not been there for a long time :)...so may go there r may hang up in Forum ( a new mall here)...equally good in terms of quality :)

will update u more as more things happen in my life..
Happy Weekend"

Heroes!

2008-08-09T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had very few heroes in my life. The common factor has been the ability of these heroes to be the best in their chosen profession or path. Except for my Dad, I never cared about what these heroes were outside their chosen field. I never cared about their personal lives. I never tried to meet any of my heroes. I never proclaimed that I am a fan. It is just a silent acknowledgment of their greatness and my own way of exhibiting my admiration by trying to be the best in my chosen field or anything else I do in my every day life.

Dad: My first hero was my Dad. He deserves a separate post. My life has seen so much of him. I would take years to understand the effect of my observations about his life. I wouldn't say he is the best Dad in the world. But I would say that he led his life on his own terms. With another toss of a coin and a bit of luck on his side, he would have reached the peak. But the abyss and the peak are right next to each other and can only be understood by the people who try to climb and fall. Salute!

Mom: If family is a profession, my mom excelled in it. Her sacrifices are infinite. She went to any extent to keep her children away from all the trouble. She valiantly took all the pain and gave us comfort. She didn't care about her health and life in the process. Such is the dedication she showed towards her chosen path. Salute!

Sachin Tendulkar: Outside of the cricket stadium, he may not be my hero. But once he steps into his cricketing shoes, I worship him. At that level of expertise about cricket and the skill to execute every shot in the book to perfection, he ranks on the top of my list of heroes. Aamir Khan mentioned in his blog about his experience of watching 20-20 final with Sachin. He has stated that Sachin could predict every ball bowled. He could exactly say what it would be: shorter one, slower ball, yorker, googly, doosra, good length, over pitched etc. My heroes are not rated on any other characteristic other than their expertise in their field and their ability to be always the best. Salute!

A.R.Rahman: In a rare interview given by him after his National award winning film, Roja, he said "Music should be deep. If it is a dance number, it should make you move. If it is a soft song, it should make you cry. And it should be different every time". And this man has delivered. And he continues to do it. Every song is different and deep. Salute!

Stephen Hawking: I couldn't think of words to describe my feeling for this person. With his body, I wouldn't have survived for a few hours. And here he is, struggling with the basics of life and yet scaling new heights in quantum physics. "God plays dice and throws it in a place where we cannot see." - Stephen Hawking ended his book, A brief history of time, with those famous lines. Truly, Stephen Hawking is a special throw of dice. Salute!

Steve Jobs: Outside of electronics, he may be an arrogant dude. But when it comes to design and marketing of cool electronic gadgets, he has no parallel. This man is a fighter. He rose from the ashes to reclaim Apple and take it to the top again. He rose from his own health issues and gave us iPhone which redefines everything that is assumed about a phone. He is a maverick. He is a genius. He is the best in his field. Salute!

Unnamed faces: There are fields which are not visible to the world. But there are so many people who dedicate their lives for a chosen path and be the best in them. They go unnoticed. They live for their own happiness. And in the process, they create better lives for many others. Salute!

Aunt: She is deaf. Her husband abuses her. He doesn't work. She struggled in all odd jobs to keep her family of three children afloat. She is dedicated to her family more than my Mom. She is an example for how not to lose heart in trying circumstances and how not to give up. Salute!

This list will continue to grow. Also I want to be on my own list of heroes. That would make my life.

Happiness

2008-08-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

Every moment can be cherished.
It doesn't matter who you are.
Nor does it where you are.
It doesn't matter with whom.
No matter what you are doing,
happiness is not a destination.

Its time!

2008-07-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

The dull regret of reality
and the boredom of truth.
Where are all the dreams?
Where is the joy
and fascination of the vivid
imagination of hundred years ahead.
Where did science fiction
and Isaac Asimov go?

Why don't I think
about stars anymore?
Did Pluto actually lose
its planet status?
Was that the latest
news about space?
How about the quantum mechanics
and pulsars?

The little universe
where I used to travel
faster than light has disappeared.
Mundane tasks and fleeting moments
of joy have taken its place.
Where did the enormous appetite for books go?

Reality is interesting
in its own way.
It proves my relevance.
When death comes,
it doesn't matter
how many ideas I had.
What matters is how many
I have implemented.

Here, there and everywhere!

2008-05-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

We passed by a long time back,
without knowing what each other meant.
Later we passed by, again.
This time you evoked a sense of familiarity.
Later, we met.
We greeted each other.
We were uncertain about each other.
Then, we started knowing more.
I started seeing you in more places, I visit.
I was comfortable with you, then.
Later, we became closer.
You started getting into my life.
I started referring to you in conversations.
You became a part of my life.
Then, later, I passed by another again.
And the whole cycle continued.
Infinite were the variations.
Unlimited were the options.
I was amazed to find how you fit
into complex situations.
And how you provide solace
to the suffering souls.
And how you inspire and motivate.
Your power could break a heart
in a second,
or make that heart to remember
you forever.
I found the magic of you.
Words are friends
and you were one.

And next time, think before talking!

2008-04-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

Aroma of the basmati,
lightness of the banter,
eagerness to fit in,
a blank moment,
an innocent comment,
all round laughter
and a warm adieu
to the wonderful evening.

An instant before the comment,
a small thought about it,
too close she was,
I thought,
to mind me,
too much did she know,
to doubt me.

Another evening,
another week,
a normal call
with a sad message.
The comment was too personal,
may be because of too much
closeness.

Some time away
to think about it.
Too close we were
to ever express
the real depth.
Beauty is in not saying it aloud
that you are special
and this friendship is sacred.

And it was just a stupid joke
gone all wrong.

To play to win

2008-04-25T11:20:00.001-07:00

To stand in the path
of certain defeat,
and to think
about play and life
and decide that
to play to win
is real play
and all other play
is not play.

To play the best
and to never give up
in the face of defeat
and to pull off a victory
when world says
that it is impossible.

Whoever said play is just play,
winning or losing doesn't matter,
has lost before play.

To win
and applaud the rival
for his effort,
to lose
and know that
one never gave up
till the end.

To get up
the next day
and get ready for
another fight.

To keep winning
in the purest sense
of the word,
is never giving up.

And it's 7:00 AM again!!

2008-04-15T20:02:00.000-07:00

Time never gives up.
Every day is a battle
to keep it still.
Relentless is it's pursuit.

It is contradictory.
More it is
when we do less.
Less it is
when we do more.

It keeps taking it's toll.
When we look back,
it seems that it has been too soon.
And when we look forward,
it seems a long way.
When we look at it,
it stays still.
When we look away,
it runs ahead.

It has moments which
come at us at a blinding speed
to make us notice and admire
its sheer power,
while it has some
which refuse to get over.

When we wake up to realize
that it is another day,
we know that there weren't
many where we made our way.

Yet that special day is always
on the horizon,
waiting to happen
and change our life
in such a wonderful way.

And that special day gets over
and another one shows up
in this journey
to the destination
to which we will never lose our way.

Are you free?

2008-04-05T16:02:00.000-07:00

Freedom from the past,
Known stereotypes,
First impressions,
Old memories,
Regrets and close chances,
New notions,
Blind beliefs,
Fear of the new,
Uneasiness of hate,
Rationalizing the indulgences,
Misplaced sense of importance,
Heaviness of ego,
Irrational logic,
Outward sweetness,
Unnecessary pride,
Baseless feeling of ownership,
True freedom is not outside.

Do you hear it?

2008-03-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

It drowns the thought
into the depths of sweetness,
lifts the spirits to the infinite,
brings back flashes of events,
lifts nature to the conscious,
defies definitions and genres,
keeps the tradition and the modern alive,
arrives with the season,
frees the occasions of ennui,
takes the mind on a journey,
commits strangers on a common mission,
keeps a part of brain to itself,
makes the pulse rise high
to the beats which race through the nerves.
A common language of hearts
like the universal smile,
a dance of sound and silence,
rhythm and melody,
pitch and harmony,
love and hate,
and a myriad other feelings
and events,
Music takes humans beyond known horizons.

That's why

2008-03-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

Words last forever.
Life after death.
Strangers connect.
Inspire and learn.
Happiness in comments.
Love of limelight.
To have an opinion
and a place of mine.
Long periods of silence.
Sudden spurts of energy.
Unknown readers.
Known critics.
Blank mind.
Depth of emotion.
The secrecy of pen names.
No faces.
Why do I write?
I write for me
and you.
Sometimes I don't
and I don't know why.

Nirvana

2008-03-07T16:05:00.001-08:00

Disjoint levels of thought,
multiple vantage points,
variety of conclusions,
all sound and true.
Many directions to follow,
starkly different destinations,
right and wrong interlace
and fade away.
A bird's eye view
and a microscopic one,
the devil in the details
and the one in the overview,
worries of the minuscule
and the fear of choices.
Everyday life,
ultimate ambition,
hunger for food
and hunger for knowledge,
Middle lines
and mediocrity.

They don't

2008-03-05T18:34:00.001-08:00

Staring back with all honesty,
being as real as life and death,
breaking all resolve,
inspiring a raw smile,
or a quick dance,
or a miniature facial circus,
being someone we avoid with all might
just to get back every day and night,
making us realize our true nature
and the inability to change it,
reminding the smallest of flaws,
judging every move,
killing all fear to live
and all courage to die,
Mirrors - both material and human,
don't lie.

Office Politics

2008-02-29T11:00:00.000-08:00

Plastic smiles galore,
back stabbing at close range,
Seething anger within,
Sweet words outside,
pleasure to watch hypocrisy and histrionics,
side by side.

Joke or Joker?

2008-01-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

Back when I was a kid,
You were too big to imagine.
Made long trips
to be in your presence.
It always felt weird.
Something absurd.
You were supposed to be everywhere
watching everything.
Yet when we wanted to meet you,
we had to queue up.
You were above and beyond
all doubt.
Blind faith.
You were beyond all knowledge.
Reason stood no chance
to understand your infinite power.
Questions were hushed up.
Answers were rare.
People kill each other in your name.
But what can we say,
you are omniscient.
Foolishness has limits.
But when it is you,
there can be none.
Little did I know,
we created you,
the best variable ever,
a joker card which can fit
in every gap science cannot fill,
a drug more addictive than any other,
billions have been hallucinating,
for thousands of years,
millions have died in your name,
millions will,
while you remain invisible
without any proof.
I cannot blame you
Because you don't exist.
When Man wanted to hide his ignorance
he named it God.

To fight is THE choice

2007-10-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

A tribute to you,
the past me,
for fighting it out.
It was cold and wet,
Men were wicked,
Pockets were empty,
it was a long walk uphill,
from the edges of poverty,
to a respectful life.
All along in perfect knowledge
that it's just a stage
and its all an illusion.
But if that's the way
the game is played,
well that's how
you will play it.
It was pretty dark back then,
insults were heaped generously.
All you had was the dream
to make it to the top
and you did.
All you needed to fight
was you and you alone.
There were times
when a passer-by stood
and gave a glance
at your struggle.
May be he took a lesson
or two from you.
The strength came from with-in,
from outside
when you saw determination
to fight it out.
To fight is a choice,
a chance you took,
when there was nothing to lose.
To fight is the choice,
in absence of any chance to win.
To fight is noble,
when the other option
is to bow like a weed.
It was a hurricane
which you survived.
To see what you have seen
To think what you have lived
is to go through all hell on earth.
You did not take it upon fate,
nor on God,
You did not ask help,
You fought it,
with all that you had,
though it was nothing.
You believed that the darkest tests
you had
were the best lessons.

Melt in a second

2007-10-19T09:43:00.000-07:00

Long after you are gone,
the smile lingers on.
A strange sense of blankness.
Light too bright to see.
Madness is not distant.
Uncontrollable smirk.
Mind can be the alternate universe
with its own big bangs
and black holes.
Gravity and causality disappear.
It was not you,
it was me.
You were a random occurrence
when I was looking for a coincidence.
Consequences and causes are mine.
In the infinite wisdom of chaos
a flake of snow floated
on to my outstretched hand
to melt in a second.

Moments

2007-10-12T13:08:00.001-07:00

Today when I walk alone,
I remember how
it felt invincible
to know no fear.
Nothing could stop me.
It still cannot.
Everything which felt close,
exciting and fun,
is transient.
Always in the moment
but not totally,
held back by fear of losing it.
I will lose it anyway.
Excited to meet new moments,
looking back at old ones
cherishing them,
like they were those drops of rain,
before they hit the ground.

Power to fly

2007-07-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

Wind can blow you away.
It can lift you up,
carry you over the ocean,
to a distant land of dreams.

Hands stretched wide,
facing the current,
with the wide ocean in front of you,
all tending to infinity,
lightness of being can be felt.

Evolution has been partial to mankind.
Wings are no bird's property.
I can trade my power to reason,
if I can get the power to fly.

Mt Shasta

2007-07-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

Rising above the clouds,
like an emperor too tall to bow,
stood a lone giant.
Greener than the darkest green,
that man has ever seen,
are the meadows.
A minute of silence beside the stream,
the source of which is just ahead,
are the moments which make life.
Like a huge river taking birth,
oozing out was water pure and sweet,
from the depths of mother earth.
An hour can be spent in the lake below,
watching the emperor in his glory.
Snow on the peaks,
gives the perfect veil,
for all the rumbling inside.
A kayak in a far off lake,
The water waves stoking softly,
A tired soul dozed off into heaven,
Watching the majesty rise so high.

Mt Shasta

Bonds

2007-06-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hanging on a thin silk thread of web,
from a tree outside the window,
is a tiny leaf.
Wind doesn't differentiate.
The leaf hung on
not knowing whether to fall gracefully to certain death,
or to wait few more days.

Reflections

2007-05-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

There were the best moments.
And there were the worst.
Some dreams were denied.
Better ones were granted.
Some regrets remain.
Connecting the dots backwards,
they all line-up.
New questions have come up.
Old ones have been answered.
Best gifts are not physical anymore.
A word of comfort
more than made up for the day.
Revelations help the ego.
Once the "whys" are answered,
all that is left is awe.
Meandering it may seem,
uphill it may be,
next step may take eons,
summit is beautiful.
At the crossroads
I stand.
There are infinite ways to live.
The one I love
is the most elusive.

Jasmine

2007-05-08T23:21:00.000-07:00

Jasmines are generally white.
She was not.
Multiple hues but no trace of white.
A beautiful girl who lived next door.
Intelligence filled her face.
A delight to watch.
One day, she laughed.
She laughed uncontrollably.
There was no joke.
But she continued.
May be she laughed because she saw,
with crystal clarity,
the absurdity of life.
It is funny sometimes.
But the ones who realize it,
are usually kept in asylums.
And all the confused ones,
get confined in their own minds,
in the free world outside.
She had just fallen over the edge.
She was just sixteen.
Yet she had reached the end of her life.
Who pushed her?
Her adopted parents?
Her true ones?
Her own mind?
Or the ghost?
Like my Mom innocently believes.
What happened to Jasmine?
Where did she go?
Another forgotten bright soul,
which couldn't bear its own lightness.
When she moved on to the brighter consciousness,
I was sitting nearby,
a ten year old,
believing that she will come back to be normal
and play chess with me.

The feel of the place

2007-04-24T16:24:00.000-07:00

A journey started nowhere
to a destination unknown.
It ended in a place undiscovered.
It led to a path through the thick woods.
Sun was blocked,
may be by the clouds,
may be by the leaves.
Little drops of rain
cascaded through the branches.
Clouds they were, then.
Sound of water in the streams,
Hypnosis in disguise.
The smell of wet earth again.
Too many memories rush by.
A friend to walk along.
Intersecting paths.
The fear of getting lost,
And the joy of adventure.
The relief to come back
to the intersection where we lost.
The identity of familiarity.
The joy of the known
and the excitement of the unknown.
Driving on the edge,
daring to fall,
but hanging on.
The feel of the place
that is all that remains.

"B"log!

2007-04-17T16:14:00.000-07:00

My life is a play of light.
So is my blog.
Shadows in the corner.
Shadows on the window.
The mesh of lines revealing
the sky in different hues.
Intimidating extent of effects.
The blur of the lines on the left
as if they are not sure
which way.
The unknown on the right
behind the walls.
Thoughts flowing in a limited space.
Left over impressions
in their own space.
If it is you today,
yesterday was somebody.
Expanding envelopes of waves
emerging from an unseen center.
All lines seeming straight
but none in reality.
Shapes belong to no names.
What you see now
is what I am today.
But with a little effort
we can see the past.
And we will never know what next.

Boundaries

2007-04-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Where do I end?
And where do you start?
Do I end at my fingers?
Do you start at yours?
Or do I end deep inside you?
And do you start at my heart?
Boundaries overlap to form a haze,
it clears up for just enough
for me to see through.
Then again,
it is a big universe of chaos.
Where does all the clutter come from?
I did not bring it in.
But yes,
I did not throw it out too.
Whenever it gets cleared,
I see a new world.
Fresh and virgin,
to be loved and loved back.

The Seven Tag

2007-03-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Continuing Nas's tag here.

It is on the to-do list for so long that I wanted to take it up as a challenge! “Can’t dos” were easy while “can dos” were mighty tough.

Seven things I plan (dream) to do before I die

1. Start and own a company or companies. To be an entrepreneur is my biggest dream.
2. Receive Nobel Prize (Lofty:D)
3. Climb Mt. Everest (he he… this is becoming ridiculous!)
4. Run a full marathon (Exhausting, huh?)
5. Make a difference (big) in a lot of lives.
6. Experience intense, passionate and deeply emotional love.
7. Travel in space. If human settlement becomes a reality in Mars, I hope I have enough money or luck to be among first few settlers.

*************************************
Seven things I can do

1. Act as though I am very caring and friendly :)
2. Change and adapt like a chameleon.
3. Forget
4. Psycho analyze
5. Super multi-task without completing anything.
6. Exaggerate

7. Roam around without direction

***************************************

Seven things I can't do

1. Be disciplined.
2. Follow routine
3. Remember routes
4. Make friends in the first meeting.
5. Be organized
6. Implement the plans
7. Forgive

**********************************
Seven things I say the most

1. Yeah
2. ok

3. Hmmm
4. I
5. You
6. Later
7. Not sure

**********************************

Seven things I say the most on my blog

1. Love
2. Me, I etc
3. Here I go
4. God
5. Destiny
6. Why
7. End

*******************************************
Seven things that attract me to the opposite

1. Childlike
2. Style and Character
3. Eyes, Lips and other physical aspects. :D
4. Unpredictability
5. Intelligence
6. Sense of humor
7. Secretiveness

******************************************
Seven celebrity crushes

1. Katrina Kaif
2. Kate Winslet
3. Shriya Saran
4. Genelia D'Souza
5. Natalie Portman
6. Jodie Foster
7. Jennifer Aniston

******************************************

Wow!

Illusion

2007-03-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

Every time you walk away,
a wave of finality descends.
There are things untold.
If I had known,
I would have told the truth.
I am hiding the obvious.
You are refusing to see it.
Denial is what we both do.
You deny that it is there.
I deny that it is not.
We are dreamers,
caught in a real world.
We mock all those
who want to balance life.
We give more than what we can
and then some more.
Practicality has no meaning
in our grand scheme.
I know you more than you do.
And I love you more than myself.
You may not realize it today.
I get caught in your eyes
and see a layer of gloss.
I forget that it is shallow.
And when the gloss
tries to behold me,
I slip away.
It could be an illusion.
An elaborate plot
which has gone according to the plan.
If destiny can be changed,
I will try.
But if the play was already written,
I will play my role.

Stupid, I am.

2007-03-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

That I want from you,
you don't know.
That I give you,
you don't want.
Destination.
Is that all I want?
Journey.
That’s all I want.
Discomfort.
That I won’t cause.
Fade.
I will, into time.
Silent.
It will be.
Difference.
You won’t realize.
Everything.
I have.
Happy.
I should be.
You.
I don’t have.
Hurt.
Should I be?

PS: Comment. You have to. It sucks. That’s true. Write it. I will feel better. :)

For you I should

2007-03-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

Forever I can.
For you I should.
In this eternal silence,
longing for you.
In the game,
guessing your next move.
In the love,
waiting for one moment.
Digging up and burying
those memories
you gave
and those
you took away.
Breaking up and moving closer.
Breaking down and denying it.
Being right next to you
and feeling far away.
Saying all that
you want to hear
and hiding all that
I want to say.
I can.
For you I would.
Will I?

Pseudo

2007-02-27T15:50:00.000-08:00

Guilt chases me
for empty promises I made
beautiful castles I built
sweet words I whispered
happy dreams I wove
moral values I held
tall virtues I symbolized
false compliments I showered
borrowed advice I delivered
divine hope I beckoned
heavenly future I promised
and because you believed.

Subtle endings

2007-02-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

Like horizons of never ending oceans,
fuzzy tails of comets,
multiple reflections on a dark window,
flowing robes of an angel,
irregular edges of a cloud,
unreachable mirage in a desert,
first rays of sun at dawn,
soft whispers on a summer night,
some things should not end.
Yet they have to.
In the most subtle way ever.

The fire of desire.

2007-02-23T13:23:00.000-08:00

Reason,
Self-esteem,
Purpose.
Lost all of them,
in a dream.
Up into the clouds,
it lifts me.
Then abruptly,
drops me.
Is getting hurt,
a pastime?
A sin,
committed by whom?
Optimism and hope,
are they sins?
Am I a sinner?
Yes, I am.
The fire of desire
will burn forever.
Engulfing me,
the sinner.

Reality is a mirage!

2007-02-20T22:58:00.000-08:00

On the altar of love,
obsession is the other name.
Nothing is an alternative.
Choice is an irony.
Today's joy
or tomorrow's sorrow?
An idealist back
after a trip to the perfect world.
Secrets beneath layers of courtesies.
Tragedy of coincidences.
Which is the truth?
Object or the projection?
Subject or the image?
Lost in the waves of consciousness,
reality is a mirage.

PS : Another one!! Ur destiny!

We live!

2007-02-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

We live
behind a facade.
Too shy
to share our dreams.
Too independent
to ask for help.
We live
in a borrowed reality,
on a broken rainbow.
Too proud
to confess our loneliness.
Too eager
to give.
Too uncomfortable
to take back.
We live
balancing the life's equations.
Too ignorant
to know
that they can never be.
We live
seeing our life
through borrowed eyes.
Too short-sighted
to see it
through our own.
We live
deriving happiness.
Too enlightened
to know it.
We live.

PS : I know my writings kind of suck! But cannot resist the urge to call them as poems. . :D

Indexed :D

2007-02-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

Everywhere

2007-01-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

A brief glance at the code
A flash of thought
Passwords were not mine

Time was no longer real
Past was better

Little words meant nothing

You are here
In the frames
In the faces
I cannot delete you

Everytime I login
You are there

Memories of you
In my phone
In my email
In my passwords
In my neurons.

Happiness is redefined
Joy has new limits

Three

2007-01-03T20:03:00.000-08:00

Absent mindedness is my friend. He will never leave me. But will never help me in need. I make innovative plans to avoid this unwelcome friend.

One of those plans is using the power of three. When I am outside, I make sure that I have only 3 things with me. At any time, I can count to 3 and check if I have the 3 items.

For example, I have a wallet, a phone and a set of keys with me on all days. That neatly fits into my plan "three".

Sometimes, during office hours, it may be 4 including my ID card. But since the harmless ID card is hanging off me from somewhere, I need not worry about it too much.

But, at any single instant of time, when my hands go over my pockets, I just count 3 and don’t check for the 3 items individually. So if at any point, I have only 2 items with me, I know for sure that I have misplaced one. But I will not know which one. I have to whack my brain to think what the 3 items were and which one of them is missing.

A bigger problem is while driving. The keys are safely in the ignition and my hands follow the plan sincerely and go over the pockets and instantly generate an interrupt. One of the things is missing.

My brain services the interrupt after a brief pause (vacuum). It clears the interrupt deciding that the keys are missing and they are in the ignition and will be back safely into my pocket.

I learnt..

2006-12-26T16:42:00.000-08:00

You taught me
to say yes
even if
it is cutting myself
into two
and giving
one half to you.
That rain needs
to be enjoyed
like a shower.
That it is
fine to display love
shamelessly.
To take somebody for granted.
To be there where I am
without thinking about
being somewhere else.
To love without being
loved back.
To take the moments
as they are.
That it is
possible to find happiness
in memories.
To give those special moments
to somebody,
which they will cherish
for a lifetime.
To fall asleep in
the middle of nowhere.
To make all those small plans
with delight
and let them be plans forever.
That it is fine
to be the happiest person
and never feel guilty about it.
That it is fine
to mask pain.
To rescue a dragon fly
and throw it into the unknown.
To collect all the dry flowers
and forget about them.
To plan for tomorrow
and live today.

I hate...

2006-12-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Mathangi, as usual :D, has tagged me… I hate to hate. I think it is a waste of time. Either I love or I dont care. Hating something or somebody is inefficient. But, like most of the times in my life, I know what is right but cannot seem to implement it. So I do hate some people and some things. So lets go.

YOUR MOST HATED…
BEVERAGE:Beer. I can't understand how people can drink this. One of my friends does not drink red wine because it is bitter but can gulp down beers. Funny world, funny people.
COLOR:White. It is so plain. Its not pure as people say. It reflects all colors. It is as impure as a spectrum.
TOWN/CITY:Any cold cities or cities where it rains always like Chicago or Boston or Seattle.
MOVIE: Butterfly effect. I think the director needs to join an asylum.
ANIMAL:RAT!
SEASON: Winter without a partner. Summer without an AC. Spring without the vacation. Fall without the camera.
ASPECT OF TALKING ON THE PHONE: Sometimes I think its a form of Matrix. What if I invent an machine which can mimic my voice and call home everyday. And what if I die after that? Will they realize? Ha ha. The machine has to be very intelligent though.
ASPECT OF WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: They switch my mind off.
ASPECT OF EATING IN RESTAURANTS:Noisy and on the other extreme, someone from the next table overhearing our conversation.
ASPECT OF SHOWERING: That it has to end.
ASPECT OF DATING: Selecting the place, deciding what to wear, thinking what to talk and the worst part, listening.
ASPECT OF THE BEACH: Dealing with heaps of sand in everything from the pockets to the socks to the car.
ASPECT OF THE GROCERY STORE:I hate all aspects of this.
HOUSEHOLD CHORE: Everything.
HABIT IN OTHERS?Being superficial.
HABIT OF YOURS? Spending and preferring to spend way too much time analysing myself.
THING ABOUT WOMEN? Shopping! (Generalizing)
THING ABOUT MEN? Being desperate for women.(me too)
WHAT’S ANNOYING YOU TODAY? Having to make choices. Sometimes, choice is a luxury. Most of the times, it is a burden.
I tag everybody on my sidebar.

Rebellion

2006-12-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

I did not realize till recently the number of things I do just because somebody says that it is wrong without any logic.

I bought a black colored car. There were no second thoughts. It was an instant choice when the salesman asked my preference. I knew that a black car will look dirtier if not washed regularly. But I still went for it. I have more black colored clothes than any other color. My mobile phone is black. Why? It is because my parents never used to allow me to buy black colored things though I liked them. They had no reason except that black is "generally" considered to be linked with death and sorrow.

Even if I don’t eat non-vegetarian food on other days, I make sure I eat it on Fridays and Saturdays. I don’t buy new clothes for festivals but buy them whenever I feel like.

I don’t believe in God. This was a well researched decision. But the trigger was my Mom's unbreakable faith and her insistence that I be as devote as her. As a rule, I don’t go into temples (If I do, I go directly to the free food queue).

I don’t say anything to make somebody feel happy or sad. I say the truth. Truth is one way to make somebody feel uncomfortable. It is one way to test a person. If he/she can handle brutal honesty, he/she can handle anything. It is a good way to make great friends.

I dress in full formals on Fridays. I wear round neck t-shirts and a pair of faded denims on Mondays. I get up early on weekends and late on weekdays. I dress in casuals for traditional occasions.

I eat beef and pork. If meat is not to be eaten, all meats have to be avoided. Why this partiality towards cows? May be it made sense in olden days because cows gave a lot of other things which made it unreasonable to kill them for meat.

I got drunk just to feel the “kick”. And recently I ordered a Margarita in a dinner with friends and their families. And explained to them what Margarita consists of. If somebody thinks that I am not supposed to do something, I do it right in front of them.

I talk taboo subjects at the most unexpected moments and amuse myself observing the ever so fine twitches on the audience faces.

If I feel somebody is beating around the bush, I tell them to come to the point. It doesnot matter if its a bad news or criticism or sarcasm, I want it plain. No decorations please!

If I am not comfortable with somebody or if somebody irritates me, I make sure that they know it. If they persist, I will avoid them at all costs. I don’t care that I hurt them.

Don’t ever tell me what not to do. I will do exactly that! "Why not?" is the question which I want the answer for. If you have it, tell it to me.

I am a SLIder..

2006-11-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

Some things happen in our life. They seem odd. They seem a bit out of place. They are a bit eerie. We dont know why they happen. There is no logical explanation. And anything which does not have a logical explanation is scary. At one time, the collective human mind (if there is one?) explained every such event by borrowing a joker card called God. Every time they discovered the reason for an event, they replaced the joker card with the actual card. As time progressed, many of the actual cards were in place. But some joker cards are still holding their places strongly.

Some things happen. We tend to forget that they did. But then they happen again. And again. It freaks us out. We try telling them to somebody and they laugh on our face. Then we decide not to tell it to anybody again. And then we come across a whole group of people who have experienced the same thing.

SLI (Street Light Interference) has happened to me very frequently in India. Everytime I passed below a street light in our street, it will switch off. Then it will switch back on immediately after I have crossed it. It was so weird. I would stand watching the street lights for hours. I would count the number of people who walked below them. And the street lights would not switch off even once. Then, when the street is deserted, I will walk under them. They will switch off instantly when I am below them and switch on once I cross them. It was true for almost 4 street lights on that street. Empirical proof that the event happened existed. But the empirical proof that the event occurs because of the cause assumed did not exist.

Then, I had to leave the street and the city and it never happened again.

I am sure that there will be a scientific proof soon. We SLIders may not be superior or inferior to other normal humans. But we are different.

My best wishes for all the research which is going on in this direction.

PS : mapmyindia is a very good site to get directions in India. Congrats for mapping my India! It was supposed to be impossible(because of the chaos) according to some of the brightest minds in silicon valley.

Tag again

2006-10-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to another tag from Mathangi!

Three smells I love:
1. Scent of a woman
2. Scented Candles
3. Babies

Three smells I hate:
1. Stagnant water
2. Dishwasher
3. Stale Food

Three jobs that I have had in my life:
1. Salesman in a book shop
2. Credit card salesman on Phone
3. Software Engineer

Three movies that I could watch over and over:
1. Matrix
2. Speed
3. Nuvu Naaku Nachav

Three fond memories:
1. My first Love
2. My second Love
3. My Third Love ..... :D

Three jobs I would love to have:
1. Scientist
2. President of US
3. Pope

Three things I like to do:
1. Space Travel
2. Race in Mountain Bikes
3. Climb Mt Everest

Three of my favorite foods:
1. Biriyani
2. Idli/Dosa
3. Ice cream

Three places I would like to be right now:
1. Hubble Telescope
2. Mt Everest Base Camp
3. Moon

Three things that make me cry:
1. Stupidity of others
2. Feeling of helplessness
3. Rejection

Whew!
And as usual, I tag KP, Nas and anybody who wants to keep this going.

1:03 PM

2006-10-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

There are few things which irritate me more than anything else. I get obsessed with them. They are the features which can never be switched off once enabled. How incompetent? How foolish were the designers?

There is no option to turn off the photo on Orkut profile once we enable it. There is just a choice to replace it but no choice to disable it. The best choice that we have is to upload a blank photo. But there is no going back to "no photo". I can live with this but not the one below.

My Timex watch irritates me every day at 1:03 PM. I just cannot take it anymore. One fine day, I will kill it. I will just pull the plug. Just to keep it quiet. Just to stop it from going off in the shrillest alarms in alarm clock history everyday at 1:03 PM. That's the problem with machines. They just don’t understand. They just cannot be made to waver from the routine. Once they are taught what to do, they will do it religiously everyday till they die. Till the last milli-watt of power is left in their batteries, they will not stop. When will they learn that if they have any illusions of replacing the human beings on earth, they should understand chaos. The pure beauty of randomness. The pure fun in unpredictability.

It all started like this. I had to get up at 6 AM one day and I set up the alarm in my watch. It went off at 6 AM sharp and I was happy. The trouble started next day and continuing for 6 months now. It just went off every day at 6 Am. My heroic efforts to switch off this feature have gone waste. My watch has 4 buttons, 2 on each side. I am pretty sure that one of them is just to switch on the light and has no other feature associated with it. So I am left with 3 buttons to accomplish my goal. Let go by the combinations. Each of them can be pressed individually, together and for varying amounts of time. So the number of combinations are 3 (individual) + 3 (2 at a time) + 1 (all three together) + 3 (individually press and hold for longer time) + 3 (press and hold 2 at a time) + 1 (press and hold all 3 together) + 3 (press and release 1 while holding other button. 2 at a time) + 3 (press and release 1 while holding other 2) and so on and so forth. Approximately, there were almost 30 possible combinations. And I tried all of them to switch off the alarm. Nothing worked!

Then I thought of a simple way out. I know it is blasphemy for any Electronics Engineer to read the manual. But I was far more irritated for that. So I tried to commit sacrilege. But it did not help. I had misplaced the manual.

But one thing I could do was to change the time. I moved it to 9 AM and found that it was still irritating me. Obviously I cannot set it anything after 9 PM and before 8 AM. So I was just left with the lunch time. Somehow 1:03 has held on. So every day my watch performs its duty. Exactly the way it was programmed. To shout at the top of its voice for 30 seconds at 1:03 PM.

Now I won’t believe that its 1:03 PM even if all the atomic clocks in the world come together and provide testimony. I will believe it only if my watch says so. Yes, at the top of its voice to wake up all those lazy people who are in for a siesta after an intoxicating lunch. Long live 1:03 PM. Long live the battery!

Did you note the time of this post? Do you understand my frustration?

Tag

2006-09-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

Math has tagged me.

I am thinking about… everything yet nothing.
I said…"Just let go"
I want to… find things to keep me occupied for 2 weeks
I wish…that I have no more wishes
I hear… unrestrained laughter
I wonder… why?
I regret… to be alive when 3 of my siblings died
I am ..what I am.
I dance… when I am alone
I sing…when I listen to my favorite song
I cry… very rarely
I am not always… in the mood.
I make with my hands… food, love and joy.
I write… junk
I confuse… dreams and reality
I need… peace
And finally… I tag…N, Prathiba and Nas

Dear Sister...

2006-09-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Sister,

It feels odd to write a letter to you. It always feels so. It’s weird that I am doing this. I am sure that you will not read this. But there is a distant possibility. I know no other medium which has a remote possibility of reaching you. This one has. The other day I read that some of the data on the net is sent over space as part of the search for life beyond earth.

I love you.

I don’t think I will ever be able to tell you this in person. But I have to. From the time that I knew you, I am fascinated. I have asked a million questions about you. I have tried different places to have a glimpse of you. You did not leave any traces behind. I don’t think you had enough time.

I know 3 months is a very short time. Did you know who your Mom and Dad were? I know you were in a lot of pain from when you were born. Did Earth give you at least one moment of joy in your short stay?

Did you know that you had a brother who was blissfully playing when you were struggling with death? May be you will know.

It was fun being the youngest. If you were there, I could have passed on some of the fun.

Why were you born if you had to just die?

The meaning of life is life itself. If that was not achieved, why were you born?

But I know that you tried. You tried hard.

Tag

2006-08-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

Tagged by Kp

My mood right now: Nothing. I am neither happy nor sad. I neither feel bored nor excited. The time seems to be standing still but yet moving so fast.

Book am reading currently : Robert Ludlums Altman code
I am trying to complete it for a long time now.

The last thing I ate :
Chicken Sandwich at the Office Cafetaria. It was bad even for my liberal standards.

Want to eat: Tirupati Laddoo. My family in India went to Tirupati and have been teasing me about the laddoos for a while now.

What I did last weekend : Roamed around in the Mall, Had a lot of ice cream, had 2 tiring sessions in the gym, took a driving class, slept a lot, cooked fish curry

Plan for the next weekend: Will make them on Friday Evening.

Recent blunder :None. My Razr did a blunder. When I save a new phone book entry with an existing name, it does not overwrite. It quietly allows the new transaction and ends up doing nothing. I ended up calling my roomie and placed a voice message about my official stuff. The poor guy did not have any idea why the SPI src clock bit did not get set in the latest SPI initialization sequnce for the new revision processor.

Colour I am wearing today: White and Black

Am listening to: Omkara and Kadhalar Dhinam

I have to:
Complete some stuff in office
Get Driving license
Sleep
Get those last extra 4 pounds off
Get in touch with friends before they forget me
Get that special someone
Copy all data from my old laptop to the new one
Calm myself and be focussed on the task at hand

I wish:
I can travel to and from India in 2 hours flat. Or max 12 hours. Thats the freaking time difference. How come it is taking 22 hours?
The girl whom I will love, will love me back
My family is with me
For a world without countries or religion. A one nation state "Earth"is the best. One currency, one government, one tax regime. No visas :)

I hope:
I hope I am the way I am, all my life.

Waning Heart Beats

2006-07-24T00:44:00.000-07:00

A distant smell of burning tar under the scorching heat of the summer Sun in Chennai evoked a familiar feeling. A street side hawker and his mobile eatery were busy serving the hungry customers. The rush hour traffic of Chennai was rushing by. The heat was terrible. The sweat was drenching the freshly ironed shirt. The familiar blue Maruti 800 had not shown up yet.

A torn banner of a newly released movie was wrapped around a homeless man. He was lying next to the mobile eatery. The last strand of life was hanging on to his decaying body. He was a human sidelined by the civilization. The heat was unforgiving. The hunger was not far behind. His life would quit living soon in the full view of the thousands of people rushing by. Yet he will be invisible. He will be forgotten as another aberration in the urban chaos.

A bread crumb from the eatery would have saved his life. A phone call to those untiring NGOs would have saved his life. A small gesture of love would have brought the lost hope into his waning heart beats.

Not getting the ironed shirt dirty is the top priority. He was too dirty to touch before another presentation on how to improve human life by innovation. He was too unimportant an entity to be bothered about on that day compared to that all important assignment to be submitted. What is Government for?

Human mind rationalizes the most unforgivable acts.

The blue Maruti 800 made its way through the traffic. I jumped in and closed the door behind. The Air conditioning was on. The man was lost in the cool breeze.

I don’t remember what those presentations and assignments were. I do remember that the banner was there when I came back in the evening. It was still torn. The eatery had not closed yet. The traffic was still at its peak. I was alive too. The life rushed by. Nobody noticed that the man was not there.